This Is How You Love Your Wife

My tips on love and marriage might just blow your mind. You can thank me later.

In just a few days, millions of Americans (mostly men) will be flocking to CVS at the last minute in hopes of finding that perfect card and a box of chocolates for their sweethearts. I don’t know when Valentine’s Day became the official day to celebrate romantic love, but I have a suspicion that Wall Street had something to do with it.

I have to be honest with you: I’m not the most romantic man to ever put on a pair of waders. I’m sure that comes as a shock to many of you, but it’s the truth. I have, however, had a multi-decade run at this thing we call marriage. I admit that I was pretty much a failure at it for the first few years, but since the Almighty got ahold of me, I now possess an almost 50-year track record of having a successful one.

Once in a while, someone will ask me, “So, Phil, you got any marriage tips?” I guess they figure that since we’ve been at it for a long time and we’ve raised godly boys, I must have some kind of secret sauce. 

No secret sauce here. What wisdom I do have about being successfully married for so many years is what I learned from a book that’s been in print for over 2,000 years. I got it all from the God who created me when I read his book. That’s all I have to offer.

So, for all you men out there who are wondering how you pull off having a happy marriage, let me share with you a few quick tidbits from scripture:

She has to be your number one — your most important human relationship. (Genesis 2:23-24)

When God created Eve for Adam, Adam turned around and said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Unless you’re looking for trouble, no other human being can come between you and your woman. Not your mama or your daddy. Not your coworkers and certainly not another woman. She is one with you. You are of the same flesh and bones. What you do to her, you do to yourself. Get this straight first.

Your job is to love her in the same way Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:21-33)

A lot of men will read this passage and walk away thinking, “Hey, I would love her more if she was the kind of woman she’s supposed to be.” The problem with that thinking is that it totally ignores how Christ loved the church (all of us in the church). He didn’t withhold his love until we were worthy; he loved us when we were most unworthy. He loved us when we were in our depravity, and even now, he loves us when we stumble. 

This is how you love your wife. Read the passage, and you’ll find out I’m telling you the truth. The way that Christ loves the church is that he gives himself up for her and makes her holy. He makes sure that she is spiritually clean. He works to make her a radiant bride, unstained and blameless. 

A man who loves his wife feeds and cares for her. In other words, boys, it’s not about you. It’s about your bride. You look at how Christ loves and treats his bride (the church) and you’ll figure out pretty quickly whether or not you’re on the right track with her.

So, Happy Valentine’s Day. Put my love tips into practice, and you won’t believe what will happen in your marriage. It will blow your mind when you do it God’s way.

You can thank me later.